Opening Overture:
Drums!
Horns!
Other orchestral instruments!
People enter, stage left wearing aprons, name tags, badges, carrying various accoutrement that retailers, uhm, carry.
Fosse-like dancing commences, with some jazz & interpretive thrown in for good measure.
Singing starts:
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That you can't make up your mind, and that you're wasting all my time!
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That you were born without a brain, that you are such a pain!
I'm sorry!
Well, it's not Phantom, but, it'll do for now.
I do have a new coping mechanism to deal with insane assholes, I mean customers. I start singing "My Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music. I know that that's, well, down right loopy, but damnit, I want to live in a musical! What's wrong with bursting into spontaneous song? Huh? You know you'd love to have a soundtrack start up when you're about to do something. Damnit! I want an orchestra!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
I'm so glad youuuuu had the weekend off
In the midst of Memorial Day Weekend Hell. It's officially the beginning of the summer season. And there was much rejoicing. But not by me. I so need to get out of retail for the sole reason that I don't have to hear about how much people loooooooooooove taking a long weekend. I'm so happy for you. Though I really have no problem telling people, I wouldn't know. Hee. They get all flustered and embarrassed like. It actually hasn't been as bad as I'd had originally thought. Which means we're not making as much money as I want. Which fucking blows. How's a girl to get her bonus without making money? I hate being the victim of my own success.
Random switch of subjects. I got to officially fire my first employee ever! Yeah! Before I've always manipulated the situation so that they'd quit, but I had to jump through fourteen different hoops to get approval to kick this twit out on the street. Tons of paperwork. But there was much, much rejoicing! Awesome! Official tally so far: 4 quits, 1 termination. Tally on staff: 2 PT's with very limited availability, 2 PT seasonal, 1 Ass Mgr, 1 Assoc Mgr who'll be leaving in early June, 1 Ass Mgr to replace said Assoc Mgr starting in early June, 1 FT key (hopefully!) and possibly 1 more PT seasonal. This is not enough for the summer. Here's to no more lame ass interviews and to qualified candidates! Yeah right (in chorus)!
I have discovered the best smell ever! Swiffer has a clean air scented wet pad that rocks my world! It should be marketed on everything! I now have an obsessive need to wipe the floor, just to smell it. Is that wrong? Nah.
Had a chance to catch up on my Angel backlog. I never got to see the 5th season other than Smile Time (wee little puppet man! hee), so I'm enjoying it. Spike is thoroughly amusing and you can never go wrong with salty goodness! The Halloween epsiode was highly amusing mainly due to the fact the Gunn was peeing on everything. Ohhhh, and I sooo want to marry Joss Whedon right now. I just watched an episode that focused on Harmony, which I normally find highly annoying, Ok I found her highly annoying throughout the entire episode until she totally vamps out and gets into a camp (cat-vamp) fight with what as the main choice of weapon? That's right. Chopsticks. Joss, you are god. I'm so going to start carrying around a pair of chopsticks, just in case. Ahhh, just in case I need to, um, eat take-out? Yeah, cuz I don't think that vamps really exist or that I'd be able to defend myself with pencil sized easily breakable twigs. Right. Um, back to reality?
I'm totally hording my NCIS backlog to stretch through the summer. I hate summer haitus! Now if only they'll rerun the Unit and Chuck. All have been renewed, yeah. I love things that go boom! And Adam Baldwin is hot. I'm excited to see him on upcoming repeats of Angel. I'm excited to see In Plain Sight & the return of Burn Notice. USA has some good shit on. I love Psych as well, though I'm behind a season. Hopefully SYTYCD will keep me occupied.
Random switch of subjects. I got to officially fire my first employee ever! Yeah! Before I've always manipulated the situation so that they'd quit, but I had to jump through fourteen different hoops to get approval to kick this twit out on the street. Tons of paperwork. But there was much, much rejoicing! Awesome! Official tally so far: 4 quits, 1 termination. Tally on staff: 2 PT's with very limited availability, 2 PT seasonal, 1 Ass Mgr, 1 Assoc Mgr who'll be leaving in early June, 1 Ass Mgr to replace said Assoc Mgr starting in early June, 1 FT key (hopefully!) and possibly 1 more PT seasonal. This is not enough for the summer. Here's to no more lame ass interviews and to qualified candidates! Yeah right (in chorus)!
I have discovered the best smell ever! Swiffer has a clean air scented wet pad that rocks my world! It should be marketed on everything! I now have an obsessive need to wipe the floor, just to smell it. Is that wrong? Nah.
Had a chance to catch up on my Angel backlog. I never got to see the 5th season other than Smile Time (wee little puppet man! hee), so I'm enjoying it. Spike is thoroughly amusing and you can never go wrong with salty goodness! The Halloween epsiode was highly amusing mainly due to the fact the Gunn was peeing on everything. Ohhhh, and I sooo want to marry Joss Whedon right now. I just watched an episode that focused on Harmony, which I normally find highly annoying, Ok I found her highly annoying throughout the entire episode until she totally vamps out and gets into a camp (cat-vamp) fight with what as the main choice of weapon? That's right. Chopsticks. Joss, you are god. I'm so going to start carrying around a pair of chopsticks, just in case. Ahhh, just in case I need to, um, eat take-out? Yeah, cuz I don't think that vamps really exist or that I'd be able to defend myself with pencil sized easily breakable twigs. Right. Um, back to reality?
I'm totally hording my NCIS backlog to stretch through the summer. I hate summer haitus! Now if only they'll rerun the Unit and Chuck. All have been renewed, yeah. I love things that go boom! And Adam Baldwin is hot. I'm excited to see him on upcoming repeats of Angel. I'm excited to see In Plain Sight & the return of Burn Notice. USA has some good shit on. I love Psych as well, though I'm behind a season. Hopefully SYTYCD will keep me occupied.
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