How retail gave me tourettes

I heart Nathan Fillion

2010-11-07T20:59:00.009-05:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is having customers waiting when I open the store. It just pisses me off. I understand people have shit to do, but come on! Give a girl a minute to breathe. What's worse is that they are always ready to jump into whatever the fuck they are after. I just hate you.

Now on to some fun stuff!

I have been obsessing and collecting nail polishes since I was a teen, many, many moons ago. I. Love. Shiny. Things. There. I said it! And nail polish is cheap(sometimes) and the colors are limitless! Back in the day, when only red and pink were acceptable colors, I always went for whatever odd ball green or blue I could find. Now, pretty much anything goes, which makes me...so...very...happy. Tears. Tears. Tears of joy, running down the side of my face. Breathing...breathless...heaving...

Focus. Focus.

Anyways, I have my favorite five colors from the Fall 2010 season. I attempted to swatch and photograph them, and I failed miserably. The swatches are ok, but it's 8:30pm and there's no natural light (yeah Daylight Saving Time) and my camera is only taking fuzzy pics of my nails. I think I'll post one, just cuz it's hysterically bad.

Thumb is Sally Hansen Haute Chocolate; pointer is China Glaze Riveter Rouge; favorite finger is Galaxy Girl from Orly; ring finger is Essie Sew Psyched and finally Kelly from Zoya. I love them all! They're all great and fally and just, just SHINY!

Other things that I love right now are the groups Rise Against and Five Finger Death Punch. Loves them very much, especially "Swing Life Away" and "Bad Company", which is an especially kick ass cover.

Oh, Castle, My Castle. You've overtaken the place that was reserved for Chuck, but since I can rationalize that the Captain always gets his way and Jayne gets his gun, then it's all good, right? As long as it's in the Whedonverse extended family...

And now I'm watching The Mummy Returns...hmmm... Rick O'Connell. One of my favorite lines is in the first Mummy movie:

Beni: Hey, O'Connell! It looks to me like I've got all the horses!
Rick: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river!

I tried to find a clip on youtube, and again, failed miserably. There was only one it kinda sucked...so here it is!

New job, same shit

2010-11-07T00:01:00.003-04:00

Well, I've finally made it out of the chocolate world and into the crazy world of...optics? WTF. I can't deal with that now. I just remind myself how much better my life is now. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Instead, I will jump into my new obsession. Nail polish, which isn't a new addiction, just one that's been ramped up now that I can wear nail polish at work (wouldn't want any sparkly flecks and foils in the chocolate, now would we?). There are tons of nail polish blogs out there (and I love...most of them!) so what to do to make this different? Other than have actual people see it? I have no fucking clue. How's that for a brilliant plan? Anyway, I plan on starting the first of the year, or maybe sooner, or whenever. My birthday?

Maybe combine two of my favorite things...books and nail polish. Hmm, something to ponder. Hmm, vodka and nail polish. That sounds better. Cocktails to paint by. I'm still working out the kinks...

Welcome to the last year anyone can wear those awful 00 glasses!

2010-01-08T01:40:00.003-05:00

Fear.

That is all that I'm feeling lately.

Fear that I'll lose my job.
Fear that I won't find another job because I want to leave my job.
Fear that I won't write anything.
Fear that I will write something and it will be horrible.
Fear that I will fail.
Fear that I cannot do this on my own.
Fear that I will be the crazy cat lady who screams at her neighbors for being too loud.
Fear that I will have no choice but do this alone.
Fear that I prefer being the smartest person surrounded by average people rather than finding other people who will challenge me to become more.
Fear that I have reached my pinnacle, and that it is a low one.

This is supposed to be my year. So I will get all the fear out now!
Hope. It's what I'm looking for. Hope in myself and humanity.
Confidence. What I can give to others but am lacking at the moment!
Love. It's what makes us all tick, one way or the other.

THIS IS MY YEAR! I call it. It is mine to do with as I please! I don't need to call shotgun, fore I am at the driver's wheel and I refuse to give up control! Rally! Rally my hopes and my dreams and what is not just owed to me, but what I've worked hard for and deserve! RALLY my friends, for it is for us, and never forget we are not alone! Rally!

WOOOOOSAAAAAAAA!

New Christmas classic for the entire family...

2009-12-08T00:39:00.002-05:00

The gods have a sense of humour or else we would never have had this beautiful song to cheer up our dreary holidays.

Enjoy!

Lady GaGa sings the ultimate Christmas Carol.

I wanna hippopat...hippapatim...cash....cash is good

2009-12-06T23:26:00.002-05:00

Well, the count down until the glorious day is upon us! Christmas! Christmas! Christmas time is here again! Buy! Buy! Buy! Spend! Spend! Spend! Oh, and good will mutter mutter mutter give me give me give me!

I'm not sure if it's the lack of sleep or what, but I'm definitely finding this season fucking hysterical...I think it's the delusions. I've made the decision that this is the last holiday in retail. Period. Done. Finito. Skonczone. So, I'm gonna have a good time. Oh, there will still be cursing and yelling and tantrums and crying and drinking so don't you worry! Just saying that decisions have been made and deservings have been announced! That's right, deservings. I have many deservings, like being happy, having a social life (yea right!), not crying to work or drinking myself to sleep, taking a vacation without killing myself before and after at work and oh, being treated like an intelligent human being for starters. That's not too much to deserve, is it?

Hmmm, I believe that there is an evil plot afoot and I am not the head of it! I think that the cocky ass who I hired is out to get my job. Or my boss' job. Well he did write it on his application, so there is some justification in my paranoia, and he's a sneaky-sneak, very tricksies! Not that he could handle it, this is not an easy retail gig. No retail is truly easy, but we have to MAKE a lot of the products daily before we can sell them and there is a ton of constant restocking and cleaning, and then there's the actual SELLING of the product, which is pretty overpriced and non-essential. Yup, sound like fun, huh? So, Cocky Ass, or Buzz Lightyear as the AssMan calls him, is charming and handsome and so the villain in the story. He's the one who you think you can trust, but ends up not quite backstabbing you, but will not worry about stepping over your prone and not quite dead yet body to step into your position. I shall can him Gaston. Cuz it's a pansy name. Anyhoo, definitely think he's up to something..... Sleep with one eye open and a knife under your pillow I always says...cuz, at least you won't accidentally poke out both eyes that way.

Hmmm, managed to finish a book in all this madness (MADNESS! LIGHTNING! THUNDER!) Assassin's Apprentice by Robin Hobb. It's surprising what you can do when you can't sleep. It was a nice fantasy novel that was quite satisfactory. Check it out.

Speaking of sleep, here is what I will be dreaming about tonight....

I will survive.....

2009-11-29T22:21:00.004-05:00

Well, another after T-Day weekend over. This year was extremely slow, wtf. We didn't make any of the goals this weekend and I ended up sending people home, which is very weird. I was in a fairly good mood, and the horrible customers were down to a minimum. We had a couple come in and they asked if we took food stamps in a loud and obnoxious voice. Luckily I was not there otherwise I would have thrown something at them. One of my new part-timers shamed them into leaving. From what I hear it was awesome! Yeah to good p-ters!

Boo to bad p-ters! Let's see we have:
-A flamboyant gay man...who only sucks up to me (no pun intended)- kinda lazy when I'm not there
-A flamboyant gay man who has been late 2/3 days so far...and has no initiative
-A cocky ass who should be a used car salesman....always has a snarky response, but hey, why not amaze us with hard work first?
-A college kid who was in a car accident after the interview but before her first day, we're hoping its brain damage, cuz otherwise it ain't good
-An older pro-retailer who I can't quite get a fix on...somethings not quite right

Now the good news...
-An older lady, the above mentioned shamer, who is a god send!!! WE LOVES HER!
-Hmm, tough to say one other pro-retailer who seems good, but we'll find out

Plus my core team:
Ass Man: yup he can take the abuse
PTKEY: good work ethic, she gets it
PTer: Oui, J'aime la Francaise!

Have 2 more days of interviews so we'll see if I find anyone else...

On the plus side, even though I haven't celebrated Thanksgiving in a while, I did get 2 leftover plates from 2 members of my staff that was big damn good! Lovely Caribbean curry goat and chicken, then some Soul food, homemade mac and cheese, ham, yams and collared greens, which was my first time eating. Awesomeness and props to my awesome gals!!!

Couldn't fall asleep last night, so watch a fabulous movie, Bedazzled,not the remake with Brendan Frazer and Elizabeth Hurley, who are both awesome, but unfortunately the remake sucks from what I hear. Now the original, brilliant! Awesome! Stupendous! Dazzling! Brilliant! Oh wait, I said that already. Never mind. Imagine Faust meeting Monty Python and you have a good idea of how awesome a movie this is! More exclamation points! Yeah!!!

A man tries to commit suicide because his life sucks so bad, but he fails miserably. Even the pictures on how to make the noose don't help him. In walks George Spiggott, aka Lucifer (but that was a bit too poofy for his liking) and offers to buy failed suicide attempt guys soul for 7 wishes, because its a magic thing, like the days of the week, wonders of the world, brides for brothers...and, well, hilarity ensues! How can you not love a movie where the magic words are Julie Andrews? I dare you to try. I'll wait.

Needless to say, I am gonna try to hunt this one down and add to the collection.

Ok, I'm tired and I've rambled enough for tonight...and a lovely image to end the night with....

A train wreck for Thanksgiving...

2009-11-26T01:33:00.002-05:00

Well, it's the night before Thanksgiving and I'm catching up with Dancing with the Stars and I'm watching the Results show. Whitney Houston just performed "I wanna dance with somebody" and man has she gone down hill. Seriously, Crack is bad. Let Whitney be your role model. Oh and don't marry Bobby Brown. Seriously.

Happy Turkey Day!

Christmas time is here....

2009-11-20T22:57:00.003-05:00

So, I've just organized the Christmas albums and I'm trying to remember my favorite songs before I listen to them ad nauseum. So here they are pre-season, and I'll do another round afterward.

1) Blue Christmas by Elvis Presley (that one's a definite keeper!)
2) What are you doing New Year's Eve? (not really Xmas, but seasonal)
3) Song for a Winter's Night by Sarah McLachlan (again seasonal, but one of my all time top 5 fav songs. period!)
4) Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt (Eartha Kitt. 'nuff said)
5) Home for the Holidays ( Great sing along, what the holidays should be like)

I'm missing a whole bunch...I'll add them later as I remember them :)

There are tons of great Xmas albums and I always get at least 2-3 new ones each year, some times the classics, sometimes the weirder the better. I have the Monsters of Rock Xmas album....Megadeath is all I gotta say!

Some of my perennial favorites:
Joan Osbourne: Christmas Means Love
Bette Midler: Cool Yule
John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together

Just a few to tide me over....
And now for something completely different!
Hmmm, Eliot....

A whole new world?

2009-11-20T00:09:00.001-05:00

Should I quit my job that I hate and take a lesser paying one while I search for a 9-5 job that pays decent but not great while I go on the great quest of pursuing my dreams?

TERROR!
HORROR!
EXCITEMENT!
FEAR!
DRINKING!

Yeah, that about covers it....

Neil? Neil Gaiman?

2009-11-17T22:50:00.004-05:00

Well, I found a new book to hold my attention. And I finished it already. Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman. I picked it up thinking, "Self. You liked Neverwhere and American Gods, why not continue on with Anansi Boys. It'll be good for you!" Now, I always want to avoid things that are good for me so I almost didn't do it (I'm so contrary) but I finished it within 24 hours. I love books that deal with the supernatural as if it were an everyday part of life, such as how I imagine human cultures dealt with their Gods and such. Oh, it's raining, pissed of Zeus again. Ah, got into a horrible chariot accident, most of forgotten to sacrifice...er a goat? A virgin (they taste better right?)? My first born? You know how it goes.... Neil has the gift to make the ludicrous seem completely plausible. I enjoyed the hell out of Anansi Boys, which I kept calling Anasazi Boys, cuz I'm smart that way, so I went into my library to see if I had any other of Gaiman's books. Lo and behold I came to an awful conclusion! I had no more books by him. Until I looked closely at American Gods and saw there was a bookmark left in the book. Now, for me that's not uncommon, I have half-read books with bookmarks stuck all around my home. But then it slowly dawned on me....I never finished it!!! Holy Shit, Batman! Yes, I have another book to read!!! And I started reading it years ago, around 2004-2005 so now I got to start over!!! YES!!! Ok, I admit I'm a little over-exuberant on this topic, but Neil Gaiman is worth it. Go! Find him! I'll wait.....

And while I wait, more husbands. Hmmmm...

Jayne! The man they caaaaaaallll Jayne!

One of my first...starting with Santa Barbara and continuing on to Without a Trace

Ahh, yes. I own nothing...except the visions in my head

Hello, I'm a Gleek.

2009-11-16T23:37:00.011-05:00

Glee is one of the few things that is making my life bearable at the moment. It's just....awesome in the true sense of the work. The cast's voices are quite phenomenal and the songs that they pick out are great sing-a-long/karaoke type songs that make you belt along with the TV. Since I'm going through a tough time right now, it sounds really hokey to say that Glee is helping me out, but in a sad, pathetic, crazy cat lady without a cat way it is. Check it out! Its on Wednesdays at 9pm and it has been picked up for a full season. It makes me want to plan a cabaret....I would totally rock it too :)

Its a sad commentary when shows don't even have a chance for a full season to get it legs under them. Take Firefly....Oh. I don't even think I can even begin to forgive FOX for canceling that. And now Dollhouse is gone as well, though that got at least one full season. Pushing Daisies, ripped from us too soon...and now Eastwick is gone. Ok, Eastwick was crappy fun, but there's something about Paul Gross that does it for me. As a Mountie. Oh. Yeah.

Hmm... let's meet some more of my husbands....

Hello Salty Goodness :)

I like a man who can handle an orc or two...

Hmmm...dirty...

Hmmm...dirty in another way....

Of course I own nothing here, except my dirty thoughts....

2009-11-16T15:23:00.002-05:00

Is it really the most wonderful time of the year? It's only mid November. I call Shenanigans!!! Can't we at least wait until AFTER Thanksgiving? Come on...

Customer etiquette tips from Emily Post...

2009-11-15T20:53:00.002-05:00

Please, please, please, I beg of you, be kind to your retailer!!! We are people too you know! I firmly believe that everyone should have to work retail for 2 Christmas seasons, and yes people, it's fucking Christmas, not Hanukkah, not Kwanzaa, not the Solstice or Saturnalia (though that's where the modern interpretation for the date of Christmas stems from. Don't believe me? Look it up....) People get up at the asshat-crack of dawn to stand in line for a fucking Wii for Christmas presents....get over it. Frankly, I hate how retail has turned a wonderful idea into something so depersonalized and competitive. I LOVE the idea of Christmas, the concept of "hey, you know what? I'm a human, you're a human, why not just be humans together without trying to kill each other. By the way, here's a sweater I made for you." Notice it has nothing to do with religion or ideology. I was raised Catholic (13 years of Catholic schooling, if you couldn't tell) but I'm not a Christian. Frankly, never was, but I digress. The point is, you don't need to have the latest, bestest, shiniest, glowiest, gnarliest THING out there to show that you are loved, or that you love. It's about the human connection. Let's just be human. Is that too much to ask?
Anyways, I digress again.

When you walk into a store, you are expecting to get served. Well, we expect you to be ready to be served. So, straight from the horse's mouth, here's some polite suggestions on what to do or not do when walking into a store:

1) Do not walk into a store on your cellphone. Yes I know they're physically attached to your head, I love my phone too, but you know what? I don't want to know about dear Antonio who has been a good little boy, or the bitch-ho who's trying to steal your man (both situations I've actually overheard). Put. The. Phone. Away. Or at least, finish the call before entering the store. Do not try to complete the transaction while speaking to an imaginary person I can't see, then expect fabulous service. I. Will. Ignore. You. You suck. And nobody fucking cares that you're so important that you have to be speaking to somebody else RIGHT NOW! Cuz, you know, we all got them. And we all suck. So do you.

2) When someone says, "Hello, how are you today?", they're actually asking you a question. Now, quick grammar tip. A statement is its own entity and does not require any other response. It is what it is. Examples: The bus is late. Statement. "I love Hershey bars" Douchey statement. "$6.50 for a strawberry is insane!" Completely classless statement, yet a statement none the less. An interrogative is two parted, requiring (normally) at least 2 people. One person to supply the query, the other to, hopefully, supply information. So when a person walks in and I cheerfully say, "Hey, how ya doin' today?", it means you better fucking answer me, cuz other wise I will fuck you up. Seriously, it's not like we don't do this a million times a day. It's just being polite to answer. And don't ignore me like I didn't say anything and just jump into what you want. Oh no. I will stop you in your tracks. I will continue the above conversation and make you look like the uncouth jackass that you are. I will answer the appropriate, yet lacking, responding question with an insanely perky "I'm great, thanks for asking!" Shithead.

Well, this is just the beginning, I will be adding on to the list, but I have to stop at 2 so I can top off my vodka and pop some sleeping pills in order to calm down.

Well, I have had some time to read, which is shocking, but hey who needs sleep anyways? Hence the vodka and sleeping pills :)
One Shot by Lee Child was the most recent one. It was good, well into the series that I haven't read any of. Not sure if I would read any more, but nice plot movement, kept me guessing until the end, though the clues were there. So, I guess a B-.

Before that was Ice Station by Matt Reilly. This was an excellent read! Loved the fast paced dialogue and action sequences. Nice twists and turns, great characters. Definitely want to read the others. Solid A.

I just started Silent Bride by Leslie Glass, but I'm gonna put it down, because I just can't get into it. Gonna look for something else.

2009-11-15T15:41:00.002-05:00

This was taken in Baltimore, MD right outside of the Inner Harbor October 2008.
I'm not sure what will be enlarged, big, big...but how could you resist taking a closer look!

It's that time of the year again....

2009-11-14T23:34:00.004-05:00

Things I love about the fall:
Good horror movies
Bad horror movies
Pumpkin pie
Crisp nights wrapped in flannel sheets
The changing leaves raining down on you while you're driving on the Schuykill
A hot cup of tea that's been sitting for about 7 minutes

Things I hate about this same time of the year:
Stupid people
Stupid people applying to work at my store
Stupid people that I interview...

Now those who've never had to deal with retail probably think that anyone can get a job working the sales floor. You're right. Any idiot can find a job working the sales floor, but these are not the people you want to hire. In order to make a lasting, positive impression you want to hire quality people that take pride in their work, have a work ethic and are hopefully literate. You would be surprised at how hard it is to find ONE of those qualities, let alone all three. Case in point, I interviewed a young lady yesterday, she was peppy, and she kept up with me while I walked, so she passed the first 2 tests....yes I start weeding 'em out early on. If you can't walk as fast as an overweight, 30+ Polish girl with knee and ankle issues, then YOU ARE A LAZY BASTARD SO GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!

We sat down and I asked her to tell me about herself. Now, anyone who's been on an interview that this is the time to establish yourself to your potential employer, the proverbial official first impression. This is what I got:
"Well, I don't like to be treated like I'm not as good as everyone else. I've had issues with people not treating me as equal" "Um, ok." Let me translate: I want you to be really nice to me 'cuz I don't deserve to be reprimanded. It did not get any better after that.

"I see you started working at (store name). How do you like it?" "Wow, it's a lot more work than I expected. I mean a lot more! They even had me cleaning the vents!" 'No shit. What did you expect?'
"What accomplishments are you most proud of?" "All of them." "Can you give me an example of one accomplishment?" "The more accomplishments the better, I'm always looking for more accomplishments." 'Not in my store, sweetie'
"Tell me about a time you missed a deadline." "Well, SEPTA wasn't running, so I got there late." "Got where late?" "Work." 'Riiiiiiiiiiiiight'

Needless to say, no call back for YOU!

Anyhoo... back to other scary shit....

Rewatching the original Halloween. Jamie Lee Curtis, great heroine, you can learn a few good tricks from her and her mistakes.
1) Never drop the knife, even if you think your psychotic, sociopathic brother is dead
2) Wire hangers are very useful for poking people's eyes out.
3) Always make sure the kids are safe

2009-11-14T23:05:00.002-05:00

2009-11-14T22:54:00.001-05:00

heres a test

----------
Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

Uhmmm.. I used to kinda blog...

2008-11-21T14:04:00.003-05:00

Holy long time Batman. Well...its been 4 mths since my last confession. Lots of things have happened. Yeah me!

I finally got to Polskaland. I spent 14 days visiting my mom & it was the best decision I had made in a really long time! I loved it so much. It has changed drastically since the last time I was there (in 1999 for a week and 1994 was the last time I was there for an extended time). Warszawa was amazing...a completely different city...full of modern architecture and brimming with vibrancy. I am sooooo moving there in a couple of years! My mom's house was amazing...it was just perfect! It was great to see my mom & not to hounded by technology...but I will speak more of that later.

I'm sooo in Holiday Hell right now. Need. To. Get. Out. Of. Retail. SOON!

Ok that was a quicky...but hopefully I can start posting again. Yeay for literacy!

This is your life.... in music

2008-07-11T02:01:00.002-04:00

Well, I've done it, I've gotten the 2nd job. yeah. Oh well, it's temporary for the trip & Xmas. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Sigh. I definitely need the cash, so that'll be good.

I've started 2 new books, trying to squeeze them in before I have no extra time. Technically 3, but I put that one down with the 1st chapter. That was "Ill made mute" by Cecilia Dart-Thornton. I bought the book, plus the 2 sequels based on the prettiness of the covers and the good reviews on the back. Yeah, I know the adage, but come on people, we all judge books (and people) by their covers. So sue me. It looks to have a decent idea for a fantasy novel, but the prose is down right aggravating. I don't think I'll go back to it.

The second book that I picked up I have a habit of confusing with IMM, which is "Ill met by moonlight", by Sarah Hoyt. I guess all books with Ill in it all look the same to me. Ha! Anyways, this is a unique view of how Shakespeare got his ideas for his stories, i.e. that they happened to him. I'm enjoying it so far, but I've been easily distracted lately. So I also started another fantasy book (I'm so on a kick) "The thief's gamble" by Juliet Mckenna which I'm totally digging. I haven't read a tradition fantasy novel since, the last Robert Jordan novel, which was # 8 or 9. We'll see if I'll finish the series.

So, I just bought 4 new cds, the bookstore was having a great cd sale. 9.99 each for a whole bunch of cds!. Awesome!!!! So I bought Nevermind, by Nirvana, MTV unplugged in New York, bu Nirvana, Appetite for Destruction, by Guns 'N Roses, and finally, The Colour & the Shape, by the Foo Fighters. Which brings me to the thought, what music has changed your perception on music & life?

Honestly, I had this whole blog planned, but I just crashed. I'll finish on that thought tomorrow. Cuz, I've spent some time thinking about this. Keep the question in mind & really come up with some music.

Zizzz! Booom! Crash!

2008-07-04T19:50:00.001-04:00

Happy 4th of July!

Now, where's that beer?

And I'm breathing

2008-07-02T23:16:00.002-04:00

Well, at least I'm still alive!
I've managed to survive the insanity and I've got the new staff fairly well trained. I've even managed to schedule myself for only about 43 hours a week! Yeah! Now I can concentrate on getting a 2nd job! Wha??? Yup, I want to go visit my mom in Poland, and I can't afford it on my salary so... this sucks, but I've got to look at the big picture, I want to go to POLAND! I haven't been since 1999, which is almost a decade and man am I getting old. SHIT! So, I'm saving VK and any extra cash for the trip. 2 weeks will fly by with jet lag & the such but, I'm really excited! Now where the hell is my passport?

I've had some down time, courtesy of not killing myself at work. I've managed to read a couple of books. I've finished Ghosts in the Snow, which was pretty good. I haven't continued to her 2nd book, but I'll get to it eventually. Still reading Night Watch, since that's my work read. Very good so far. Thinking of watching the movies.

I've read the 1st in Charlaine Harris' Harper Connelly series, Grave Sight, which was good, but I was a bit uncomfortable with some of the relationships in the book. Again, not moving on to the 2nd one just yet, but will read it soon.

Next I was on to Jim Butcher's White Night, book 9 of the Dresden Files. I so love Jim's books! Dresden is the perfect antihero: scarred, sarcastic and looking to save the world. Ok, an antihero wouldn't go for the last one, but you know what I mean. There's some great action, tons of humor and some wicked twists & turns. It's a shame what the Scifi channel did with the series. The tv show sucked ass. And that's putting it nicely. Harry Blackstone was great as Dresden, no question about that. It was an appropriate choice. The actress that played Murphy, just wasn't Murphy. For starters, the physical descriptions were polar opposites. Murphy is supposed to be blonde, very focused on her job, and very capable of her job. The actress played it just like every other cop show out there: you have to be pretty and neurotic to be a good female investigator, with some kind of crutch, in this case they gave her a daughter. First off, I have no problem with Murphy having children, but they randomly put it in the show just to do so. And what happened to being capable without having to prove to everyone over and over again that yes, you can do it! Murphy has proved herself by working her way up the police force, and she is confident in herself, as are her fellow officers. Ughhh. And they played the episodes out of order, with Storm Front being played 8th or something like that. I hate things not chronologically done. Anyways, I'm waiting for Small Favors to come out in MM to read it. Or, maybe I'll be able to borrow it if I end up working at the Bookstore again. Sigh.

Finally, I just finished The Other Boleyn Girl, which is the summer read that I'm doing with Mac. I'm surprised how much I enjoyed it. It focuses on Mary Boleyn, the lesser known sister, who was also Henry VIII's mistress. There seems to be controversy on some of the historical accuracy in the book, but I say it was a great fictional read. Focus on fictional. I think that it serves as way to get the general public interested in the history, even if it's just the sordid details, but whatever it takes. I'm thinking of picking up the movie, ohhhhh, Eric Bana. Even if it didn't do that well, did I mention Eric Bana? I seem to have forgotten my love of historical fiction. I'm thinking of reading another one of her books, her new one about Mary, Queen of Scots.

I've also managed to see 2, count them, 2 movies in the theater this summer. I remember a time where I would go to the movies every weekend, and it was like 5 bucks and we'd walk uphill both ways barefoot. Get Smart, starring one of my many husbands, Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock, was hysterical. Very much worth seeing. Yeah, there were a couple of minor plot issues, but overall, very much enjoyable. There were a bunch of great lines plus the supporting cast was awesome! The other was Wanted, which was fine for what it was. Do not go looking for a plot, because it is not even flimsy, its... one dimensional. But the fight scenes were good, as were the CGI effects. I'd actually wanted to see Indiana Jones, but it was sold out. On Wanted's opening weekend. Does that say anything?

Exhaustion suits me

2008-06-01T20:22:00.010-04:00

I'm not enjoying work right now. I'm working 6 days a week for about 10 hours a day. Andzia no happy. I hate all humanity and I'm starting to sing extremely angerly. Angerily. Angrily. What ever. I'm to damn tired to care how it's spelled. I had to leave. Normally I just go out to the Boardwalk and breathe in the air and look at the ocean and just be. I couldn't. It's been too much. I had a lovely chat with my AM about her pay rate vs others who are getting hired & let me tell you folks, if you haven't figured it, retail fucking sucks. It sucks in paying people. We work too hard for too little. We have to deal with people. Not just a little bit. Every goddamn day. That's all that we do. And people are stupid. Now, don't get me wrong, a person can be smart, in fact, a person can be brilliant. People, as a whole, are rather fucking stupid. Believe me, I deal with them enough. And I have no more patience. It's been used up, sucked dry, exsanguinated if you will. It is all about the money. I have to keep telling myself it's a business, and rationally, I know it is. But we're talking about people here. People, who deserve to be paid what they're worth. But that's not how it works, and it sucks! Dammit! Mother of St. Petersburg Russia!

The hours suck, the pay sucks, and if there was a career that would cause me to want to commit general manslaughter, this would be it. Yet, I've been in it for nearly 8 years. It it should be time for me to get out. I'm planing on sticking it out for maybe 2 more years. Oh unholy shit, that would be a full fucking decade. But that is it. Either I'll be out, or a 600 lb raging alcoholic. Because I left early and you know what I did? I relaxed by drinking Belvedere Pomarancza, eating moose tracks ice cream and watching last week's Top Chef. Does anyone else hate the fact that the promos before the commercials give away too much? It's extremely annoying. But man do I love me some Belvedere. That is some good Polish Vodka. I'm trying the Pomarancza for the first time and am totally digging it. It makes a great spritzer with pear martini mix & Sprite Zero. I'm thinking of calling it...Retailtini. Or maybe, the Polacktini. Oh hell, just give me another one!

I'll definetly will need one on Wednesday. I get to go meeting in north Jersey where all the store managers get to meet the new familia of the company. This... will... be...interesting? We'll see what goes on, though I'm not going to kiss any rings, thank you very much. I'll report later on that. Though I did go get my hair cut in honor of the event. Come dressed to impress is what I was told, and my boring hair was not cutting it. So I joined the rest of the women in the US and got an angled bob. I had one of these in high school, which is really disturbing. Seeing a trend come back the second time around. And my 15th reunion is coming up in a couple of years. Mother of Pete, when did I get old?

Some bright news, Project Runway is returning in July. Awesomeness! This one, Bravo got soooooooo right.

HRGMT The Musical!

2008-05-30T22:24:00.002-04:00

Opening Overture:

Drums!
Horns!
Other orchestral instruments!

People enter, stage left wearing aprons, name tags, badges, carrying various accoutrement that retailers, uhm, carry.

Fosse-like dancing commences, with some jazz & interpretive thrown in for good measure.

Singing starts:

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That you can't make up your mind, and that you're wasting all my time!
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That you were born without a brain, that you are such a pain!
I'm sorry!

Well, it's not Phantom, but, it'll do for now.

I do have a new coping mechanism to deal with insane assholes, I mean customers. I start singing "My Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music. I know that that's, well, down right loopy, but damnit, I want to live in a musical! What's wrong with bursting into spontaneous song? Huh? You know you'd love to have a soundtrack start up when you're about to do something. Damnit! I want an orchestra!

I'm so glad youuuuu had the weekend off

2008-05-25T23:46:00.004-04:00

In the midst of Memorial Day Weekend Hell. It's officially the beginning of the summer season. And there was much rejoicing. But not by me. I so need to get out of retail for the sole reason that I don't have to hear about how much people loooooooooooove taking a long weekend. I'm so happy for you. Though I really have no problem telling people, I wouldn't know. Hee. They get all flustered and embarrassed like. It actually hasn't been as bad as I'd had originally thought. Which means we're not making as much money as I want. Which fucking blows. How's a girl to get her bonus without making money? I hate being the victim of my own success.

Random switch of subjects. I got to officially fire my first employee ever! Yeah! Before I've always manipulated the situation so that they'd quit, but I had to jump through fourteen different hoops to get approval to kick this twit out on the street. Tons of paperwork. But there was much, much rejoicing! Awesome! Official tally so far: 4 quits, 1 termination. Tally on staff: 2 PT's with very limited availability, 2 PT seasonal, 1 Ass Mgr, 1 Assoc Mgr who'll be leaving in early June, 1 Ass Mgr to replace said Assoc Mgr starting in early June, 1 FT key (hopefully!) and possibly 1 more PT seasonal. This is not enough for the summer. Here's to no more lame ass interviews and to qualified candidates! Yeah right (in chorus)!

I have discovered the best smell ever! Swiffer has a clean air scented wet pad that rocks my world! It should be marketed on everything! I now have an obsessive need to wipe the floor, just to smell it. Is that wrong? Nah.

Had a chance to catch up on my Angel backlog. I never got to see the 5th season other than Smile Time (wee little puppet man! hee), so I'm enjoying it. Spike is thoroughly amusing and you can never go wrong with salty goodness! The Halloween epsiode was highly amusing mainly due to the fact the Gunn was peeing on everything. Ohhhh, and I sooo want to marry Joss Whedon right now. I just watched an episode that focused on Harmony, which I normally find highly annoying, Ok I found her highly annoying throughout the entire episode until she totally vamps out and gets into a camp (cat-vamp) fight with what as the main choice of weapon? That's right. Chopsticks. Joss, you are god. I'm so going to start carrying around a pair of chopsticks, just in case. Ahhh, just in case I need to, um, eat take-out? Yeah, cuz I don't think that vamps really exist or that I'd be able to defend myself with pencil sized easily breakable twigs. Right. Um, back to reality?

I'm totally hording my NCIS backlog to stretch through the summer. I hate summer haitus! Now if only they'll rerun the Unit and Chuck. All have been renewed, yeah. I love things that go boom! And Adam Baldwin is hot. I'm excited to see him on upcoming repeats of Angel. I'm excited to see In Plain Sight & the return of Burn Notice. USA has some good shit on. I love Psych as well, though I'm behind a season. Hopefully SYTYCD will keep me occupied.

Cheap people need to be beheaded!

2008-05-21T00:35:00.000-04:00

Oh minor rant!

I know I work with food, and that people want to try before they buy, but let me speak for everybody who has to work with food & people:
STOP BEGGING FOR FREE SHIT!
Really people, we really hate you. Seriously. It's not cute. It's not funny. It's not you're god given right to get shit for free. Just because you asked, does not mean you deserve to get it for free.

So stop it.

Come visit me at my condo on the river Styx!

2008-05-20T02:05:00.000-04:00

Yeah, 3 days in a row! Awesomeness. Maybe I can actually focus enough to do this faithfully. Maybe regularly? Anyway, I'm excited. Go me.

Just spent 2 hours after a long ass day on my feet organizing my Fantasy section at home. Yes, this is my sad idea of relaxing. It made me realize, I have too many gorram books! Not really, just too many unfinished series. Damn you Robert Jordan! Will you just finish the damn series so that I can can finally finish it?! I refuse to reread the WOT series until I know for a damn fact that he will NOT put out any more books.

Oh Fuck. While searching for a link to put with the above rant I realized the Robert Jordan recently died. My condolences to the family & no disrespect meant. Well, it's not like my feet weren't burnt raw already. At least I see that someone else means to continue the series.

Now something completely different.

I had the most bizarre realization, which I'm sure most people think is obvious. Ringtones are the soundtracks of our lives. Right now mine plays the theme to Halloween. That says something folks. I also have Under Pressure & Fat Bottom Girls by Queen, Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm and Just a Girl by No Doubt. Now I know that this seems to say that I'm a fat, psychotic girl who's under pressure and everyone keeps asking me if I'm ok, but it really means that I like fluffy bunnies. Fluffy bunnies that go boom! Yup let's go with that!

I'm so looking forward to the finale of Dancing with the Stars! I'm such a sucker for these reality shows. I used to watch many more of them, but now I culled it down to DWTS, So you think you can dance, Top Chef, Hell's Kitchen (on FF) and most definitely my all time favorite: Project Runway! It is just brilliant! I love shinyness. Have I mentioned that I'm a absolute Dragon? Shiny things good. Humans crunchy. Errr, ignore that last bit. The shitty news is that I have to wait until Thursday to watch both the dances & the finale! I'm working close today, well worked close, and I close tomorrow & I work a double Wednesday. It sucks being el Capitan. What's worse is that the store doesn't close until 11pm. The joy of working in a casino. Drunks, & Beggars & Pervs, Oh my!

Final random thought of the night:
I just listened to Hammerhead by The Offspring, The More I Drink by Blake Shelton & See You Again by Miley Cyrus on my ITunes. What does that say?

I love me some great books!

2008-05-18T23:26:00.000-04:00

Yeah to good friends who look out for you!

Props to my girl Mac! She totally hooked me up with some awesome autographed books. A very good author, Charlaine Harris came to the Bookstore to sign some books (what was she supposed to sign? Shoes? Stilettos, size 9, black? Ooh, I have an awesome pair of them!) She's the author of the Southern Vampire Mystery series, aka the Sookie Stackhouse mysteries. She has three(?) other series that I haven't read yet, though I'm going to do the Grave series next. Mac had Charlaine sign the last 3 SS and the first 2 Grave books for me. Shiny! She's up there for some of my favorite authors. I used to sell her in the Paranormal Starter Kit along with LKH (before she insulted the intelligence of her readers), Kim Harrison ( love the pixies!), Kelley Armstrong (the best werewolf coming to terms story ever!!!!), Jim Butcher (how we loves the anti-hero) , Rachel Caine (fucking love this series, such an awesome idea, damn you for thinking of it first, ughhhhhh), MJD (asshat, hee),and Simon R Green (such a cool power!). There are tons of others though.

It's scary how many books I have. Having just moved, believe you me, I know. I'm estimating around 1500. Mostly MM thankfully. Mac came over to visit the new pad & I put her to work helping me unpack them. I'm an evil wench, but she took it in stride. It's scary because my books aren't just organized by genre, no, but by subgenre, mostly based on the Bookstore's guidelines, with some tweaking of course. I will always be a tweaker. That just sounded dirty & wrong. Ok, then. And the books are alphabetized. That's what you get when 2 booksellers get to organizing a library/den. How fucking cool is that! I have a library! Woohoo!

I'm in the process of reading 4 (?) books. I never know exactly, since I tend to put down a book if it's slow and something good comes out. Let's see: there's The Night Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko. The premise is really interesting, a nice twist on the paranormal. I'm enjoying the Communist era background. It seems refreshing compared to the uberhip locales of many paranormals. Exotic without being farfetched, since clearly this is a part of contemporary history. It's intriguing to see the mindset of the author, it's very telling of the era. We all learned about the communist era (well I hope you did), hell I even got to experience it for a bit, but as an adult, I'm appreciating the sociological aspects of the time. Or maybe I'm reading a little too deep into it. Anyway, it the 1st of a trilogy, so we'll see how sucked into it I'll get.

I'm also reading Ghosts in the Snow by Tamara Siler Jones. It always annoyed me that we had to shelve this in the fantasy section. Ok, so it's set in a traditional fantasy setting, but to me it seems it could be a historical mystery. There's forensics, (reminiscent of Caleb Carr's the Alienist, an excellent, intelligent psychological thriller) that relate to an accurate portrayal of the time, and it's a true whodunnit mystery, with a healthy helping of a paranormal twist. Now, Abby Cooper, P.I by Victoria Laurie (another fantastic series), is considered a cozy mystery, even though the main character is a psychic. Shouldn't it be categorized with scifi? Oh, and before you go into a "there's a big difference between fantasy & scifi and its actually science fiction blah blah yakkitty smakkitty", you're preaching to the unholy choir! However, I've never been allowed to split the categories up in either of the bookstores I've worked in. So, I did it at home. Ha. Regardless, the category sums it up: scifi (definition) : category of entertainment that accounts for anything not natural to the natural world and which most people are afraid to try to get into because it uses big words like terraforming, and android and thingiemabob. Just try it people, there's something in that section you will like! Just go and look for it! Alrighty, finding my center and yes, now back on track. The mystery & setting are well thought out so far and this is definitely the book I'm focusing on now.

I started Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry a while back and haven't gone back to it yet. It started when I saw Comanche Moon on TV, ooohhhh, Karl Urban & Steve Zahn. Made me remember that I like Westerns! Huge fan of the Young Riders & the Magnificent Seven (Eric Close was one of my first husbands and who doesn't love Michael Biehn? (Kyle I heart thee!) )
And it won a Pulitzer so I thought I'd give the first in the series a shot. Hee. I like puns. Well, I think I'd rather see a Western than read one, which is quite mind boggling. But, I will not give up without a fight. Speaking of westerns, I can't wait to watch 3:10 to Yuma with another one of my husbands, Christian Bale. See, now here I'm excited!

Finally, or at least the last one I can remember, I'm "reading" The Law of Attraction by Jerry and Esther Hicks. I am trying to get past the hokey aspects of the book and actually focus on the guiding philosophy of the text. For someone who enjoys preternatural topics like I do, it's disconcerting to find out that I'm a bit of a skeptic. Ok, more than just a bit, but I love to imagine these farfetched ideals but have a lot of trouble believing in them. I'm very realistic, pragmatic if you will, about faith and supernatural abilities. Ok, so it's like this:

I believe we are not alone
I believe that there are forces in the universe that science has not been able verify yet, due to lack of sophisticated technology
I believe there is the possibility of supernatural beings to be with us, I just do not believe that it is probable

I'm trying to change my attitude and focus on the positive so that more positive will come to me. I'm still working on the believing aspect of it. I will report on how things come about.

I'll end on that note tonight.

Have a good one!

A whole new world....( go Jasmine!)

2008-05-17T22:14:00.000-04:00

OK, no posting in five months. So I suck. However, a change of attitude, positive thinking, yada yada, and I will start writing/blogging again. It's time to face reality. I need to do this. Deep breath and off we go...

So this blog won't be specifically about retail anymore, though I know that it'll creep in there often enough. I am mostly doing this for practice, so that I can get my ass into gear & start writing again. Now I'm like the rest of America, random thoughts are my friends.

On a side note, the contestants on Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader are extremely annoying. Why must we put stupid people on tv? I love the trivia questions, and I know I'm smarter than a 5th Grader. Usually. But what does this show tell us about the state of the American educational system? Really, shouldn't we remember basic information gleamed in our early schooling? Now some of the "upper" grade questions can be more, uh, specific, so I understand if you hated, say, history, why you might not know, but simple 1st & 2nd grade questions? Come on! People, u is stupid. And don't even get me started on the idiots who can't spell. And grammar. We need to bring back diagramming sentences. Granted, I'm a linguistics nut, but knowing rudimentary language skills, what's wrong with that?

Anyway, I've moved recently. The plus, my new job has me near the ocean. Oh dear sweet and merciful spiritual entities, do I love being near the ocean. I love the ocean. The water is amazing. It literally calms my soul when I'm ready to commit 14 types of felonies on customers. I didn't realize how much I've missed being close to a large body of water. Growing up on a Great Lake, I took it for granted. I rowed in HS and it was the best part of my day. Now, I get to go out and soak it in (ha).

The bad news is now I live in South Jersey. My apologies go out to all the natives, but I'm having flashbacks to where I was born. And I left for a reason. This area is fine for what it is, but I really miss living in Philly. My next move will be back to a large city. Chicago, DC, or back to Philly. But I don't want to be here. Sigh. Or maybe I can get my act together and move overseas again. That would be nice. Berlin maybe. Stockholm... I do love snow. Yeah. Ok.

Well, I have rediscovered my love of David Boreanaz. Hello salty goodness! So, now I'm DVRing repeats of Angel and Bones. Love him & love DVRs! How did I survive without it? I can't wait until next week when TNT is repeating Smile Time. OMFG! Not only is there Angel, there's an Angel puppet and it totally vamps out. Youtube has a bunch of clips. Wee little puppet man. Hee.

Well, here's to more blogging!

Why are people so fucking cheap?

2007-12-02T22:38:00.000-05:00

I hate, loathe, detest, abhor working on Sundays. People feel that since they've confessed all their sins and paid their tithe they can be as shitting as they want until next week. Plus, I hate having to work a shift where I have to open and close. It's just fucking annoying.

So, this blinged out older woman comes in with her friend and starts looking at the merchandise. She starts bitching that the prices were jacked up because of the packaging. Now, the product that I sell at the store is (overpriced, well known name brand) food related merchandise with items that may or may not come with a festive decoration. Of course we charge for the decoration, for several reasons:

It's extra material that is not found on the other products
It's extra labor to attach the decoration to the product
It looks nicer
IT'S A FUCKING BUSINESS!

She was wearing some nice diamond jewerly, and I know I'm sounding all judgmental. But if you can afford that rock on your finger, an extra $4 is not going to put a dent in you wallet. Plus we provide a gift bag and tissue paper, so your entire wrapping and presentation is complete for a measly $4. I know she will spend 3-4x that amount having someone else do it, all Martha Stewartesque. Yeah, I know she could wrap it with cheap paper herself, but she won't.

What really got me is how she paid for it. An American Express Black Card. It's made out of metal. Seriously. I almost dropped it when she handed it to me. Seriously. Here's some info:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centurion_Card

I don't seem so petty anymore, do I?

Oh, and she didn't buy the decorated one, in case I wasn't clear on that.

The curse of X Mall...dunt, dunt dunt!

2007-12-01T00:23:00.000-05:00

Well, things have not gone quite as planned....

I've just completed my 1st week at a new mall. Why am I at a new mall you say? Well, it seems that the store that I was at is under a curse. By my calculations, the store has not had a store manager there for more than 6 mths since they remodeled and opened in the new location. I was brought into that store as an Associate Manager (an Ass Mgr, if you will), with the promise that a seasoned mgr would take over and train me in time for the holiday season. Well, that didn't quite work out.

We got a new General Mgr, for about 3 days before he decided that he didn't want the job. However, he dragged his feet and got paid for doing barely anything, while I managed the store. Thankfully my District Mgr isn't an idiot and realized what was going and the crazy man decided to quit, amongst threats of inappropriate behavior, blah blah blah!!! What pisses me off the most, was that I was really worried about the guy and wanted to help him out. Sheesh, no good deed goes unpunished.

Anyway, I was told that I was going to run the store in his absence (duh, that's what I've been doing) through the holiday season. Ok, I was willing to give it a shot, but I had always said that I wanted to go through a season with a GM first. I'm not one to walk away from a challenge... unless it's related to spiders or clowns, 'cuz they're just evil incarnate, but that's another story altogether (but that's another story( Airplane! joke alert)). I was really excited to run the store, and I felt that I was pulling the 2 assistant mgrs into a strong and cohesive team. We were starting to make strong numbers, plus we were kicking ass in some district, regional and company wide contests!

Then, out of the blue, a ginormous blob of shit hits the fan. Here, my DM had been scoping out a new GM and AssM for the store. And I was to be transferred to another store for more training. Ok, that doesn't sound so bad. In fact, it was what I wanted. And I knew that I would eventually be leaving X Mall to run a new store that's being opened after the new year. But still, I was really going strong with X and wanted to prove myself at that store. Ok. I'm done pouting now. Maybe a little more.

So, now I'm at a completely new mall, K Mall. Which is a hellavu lot slower than X. Shit, I am bored out of my skull. Luckily, there's been a few people who's just been hired, so I get to play smarty pants with them (not that way, nasty minded readers) and train them on the product, which I love to do. And it's closer to home. And it'll be more like the new store that will open. Sigh. Now, I really don't have a reason to pout. Gorrammit!

OK, venting over with. There will be plenty of annoying customer stories, just by nature of this business. Plus, K is in a much wealthier area (middle-upper middle class vs working class), and I've already come across a bitch. I've named her Ms. Persnickety, and she's the wife of one of the VP or some shit like that. She thinks I'm a kindergartener... kindergardner...kindergart-like person (yeah, like that). So I passed her order on to the GM. Life is starting to look up, 'cuz I don't have to be big boss anymore. YEah (confusedly)!? Alright, I'm happy I don't have to deal with that shit anymore.

Ohhh, I forgot to mention that the new GM for X mall quit within a week of working for the company. Ha!! I like the new Ass Mgr & I think she'll do well. I certainly wish her luck, she'll need it for the curse.

On a completely different topic...

I have become obsessed with the show "Chuck". Dear Buddha please save this show, 'cuz this is one of the few things that I'm looking forward to in life. The season is upon us, I've got a Bday coming up and I'm probably going to have to move right after the new year, so along with a pony and a rocket, I would love for this show to continue on.

Why do I love "Chuck"? , you ask. Well, it goes like this: (clearing throat)

Adam Baldwin. How I love you. You have made it onto my list of husbands. You are shiny and cute and snarky and hold a gun in the most alluring manner. I love thee, but not in a restraining order kinda way.
It deals with retail.
It deals with spies.
It deals with spies in retail. Let the hilarities ensue.
Things get blown up. 'Nuff said.
Things get blown up by Adam Baldwin. Give me a minute...yeah ok..I'm good...
Absolutely insanely, funny and witty banter/dialog/writing
Amazing chemistry among the actors.

If you haven't seen it yet, it's on Monday nights at 8:00 I encourage all to see this show.
Here's the link to the main page:

www.nbc.com/Chuck/

Ok, good rant. Hopefully I'll have time to post some more soon.

Have a good one!

People fuckin' suck!

2007-10-06T18:23:00.000-04:00

For most of you, you know that this will become the title of my autobiography, but I'm getting the rough draft out here. This will be my little vent about my life in retail. Some stories from previous places, some current. All names will be changed so no one sues me. It's not like I'm gonna mention this place to them anyway. Feel free to let me know of any stories you want to add.

And so it begins.